smashed cake?

 today started on a harsh note 

i woke up to a smashed cake, a cake that my mum brought with love but some people are so ungreatful and so unworthy that when they recieve something they do anything to show that they did not fucking deserve it, and that is exactly what she did  

the day started with building up frustration in me later on i had a heavy convo that lowkey ruined my mood but yeah i was late to pick up mum brought her home and hugged her and just slept just like i used to sleep in her arms it was good i felt good.

she is my safe space.

i love her.

june

its june 1st today!

june came in with a lot of hopes, hopes of being alive again as i was dead for the past few months 

last few months i have been feeling disconnected and so not myself i didnt feel like me i stopped seeing the world through my lens i forgot what it was like to be me 

and trust me losing myself is the worst ive ever felt 

i hate not being myself, i wouldnt wanna be anyone else but me 

i found myself in old loops making old mistakes choosing things i would never do or nor incline in doing

i stopped taking care of myself stopped doing my skincare stopped dressing up 

IT WAS BAD

but good thing its over now i have stopped that bullshit behaviour literally and locked the fuck in coz bro i cant be losing myself i owe it to myself to get tf up and be who i want to be and show up for myself i cant be slacking off like that nah man...

so i got up today took the first step ig i did not do nothing today,

i was not dead today,

so heres to june, 

to new days,

new ways.

ciao